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why you won’t see my favorite invitation

by | Aug 14, 2013 | Uncategorized | 8 comments

Last week, I created my favorite invitation I’ve made to-date.

And you’ll never see it.

I wish I could say it’s because I signed an NDA with some super-celebrity client, but it’s not.

It’s because my client hated it.

Man, it just sucks to type that out.

In the end, what I had considered a triumphant success was a miserable failure to my clients. It was a stationer’s worst nightmare and has had me in a funk for the better part of a week.

There’s a lot to glean from this experience in hindsight; I’d like to share some of the conclusions I’ve come to:

  1. Get It In Writing

    This may seem obvious to you, but it goes hard against my usual proclivities. I’ve fantasized this image of an old-world craftsman, much like the furniture maker down the road, who makes a few notes in his notebook and comes back a month later with my new table. This work certainly feels connected to a romantic past and it has generally worked that a couple conversations and a handshake have guided us from blank sheet to the mailbox.

    Then there are times like this. There just wasn’t clarity – everything from deliverables to timeline became a question and, frankly, my notes just weren’t adequate to guide me.

  2. Voice is Better Than Text

    I’ve already shared my thoughts on this. So much can get lost in an email or text that can be caressed and explored in a phone call or a few minutes of skyping, which brings me to:

  3. On Tone

    The wedding and event industry is filled with wonderful people. Wonderful, bubbly people. They’re (not all, mind you) effervescent and reassuring. They use lots of “!!!’s” and “:-)’s” and maybe a few “LOL’s.” That’s not me. I can be too direct. I’m verbose in person and rather short when emailing. I believe exclamation points lose their meaning if they terminate 80% of your sentences. And I don’t think this helps me.

    A friend yesterday said he once heard the advice that you should respond to someone (particularly when emailing) in the same tone as she wrote you. I can see some value in that. If you’ve written me a 600-word missive on the finer points of your linens or your feelings about paper texture, an “OK. Sounds good.” is going to sound dismissive, no matter how positive a tone I had in my head.

    It’s even worse when I am frustrated or concerned about timelines (or a myriad other reasons). I’m so broken over the thought of making a client feel anything less than treasured. I certainly blew it there.

  4. Whose Decision is it, Anyway?

    Weddings are complicated affairs. There are a ton of people and personalities involved. Some clients have a clear vision, some wouldn’t mind having their decisions made for them. Some bring an entire entourage to the proverbial table and times, only the bride (or groom – it happens more than you’d imagine) shows up. It can be challenging enough to distill a client’s thoughts, ideas and feedback into something you can put in a mailbox. It’s so much more complicated when the feedback comes from multiple sources.

    When others are involved, I think the ideal situation is that all feedback is filtered through the client and right to my ears. In this case, I struggled to understand feedback that came from multiple sources and failed to recognize why. Not only that, I got frustrated (which I know my clients and all involved saw) when I got what felt like conflicting feedback. I now recognize a few follow-up questions that would have cleared almost all of it up. Too little, too late.

  5. The Educated Client

    It’s easy to forget that clients don’t know what I know. Yes, I’ve been writing here for a while, trying to educate clients, planners and the unwashed masses. It’s not reasonable, though, to assume that a client has read up on salting or changes at the USPS. I’ve been working on my processes and wonder if this isn’t the place to beef up education. Or maybe in the contract. Maybe not.

    Maybe the best place is in conversation. All I know is I enjoy having those conversations, but don’t have them often enough.

  6. Make Room for Creativity

    Timelines and budgets have to match the scope of the project. I shouldn’t have taken the project in the direction I did at the pricepoint and timeline we had. Some jobs move really fast and easy. Instead of letting those jobs be pleasant surprises to clients, I’ve factored them in when budgeting time and money for the next, making for unreasonable expectations.

    In this case, some hand-work really needed the time for iteration. What I provided didn’t fit the client’s vision. I’m still not entirely sure where or how far off the mark we were (too many emails, not enough phone calls). The point is: what we needed was more time to try a couple more concepts. I’m confident that, given the time, we could have made something that would have delighted them.

  7. Difficult Conversations Only Get More Difficult.

    I think the most important thing I learned is that avoiding some difficult conversations early on (and possibly walking away from the project) caused pain for everyone involved down the road. Being a wuss cost me and my client dearly.

I don’t think I can explain to the clients or their planner just how sorry I am that this particular invitation went the way it did. I really am proud of the work, but it didn’t meet their expectations and that’s on me.

I’ve been trying to find ways to learn from this and move on. I’m hoping that this here (and you reading it) can help me and perhaps help you as well.

8 Comments

  1. Leslie

    It’s always a total bummer when the design phase goes terribly wrong. You know that you put your heart into the work, and in the end, that’s all that really matters. I find the best way to move on is to design and print something for yourself.

    • afinepress

      I’ve got a project I’m finishing up right now. I’ve had one other project go bad and it put me down and out for nearly half a year. Can’t let that happen again.

  2. concerned

    You made a very valuable discovery through this process, one that we designers of other methods have to learn as well. Nothing can replace the verbal interaction when delivering expectations or restating your interpretation of those expectations. I am so sorry you had to go through this experience, but I know you, and you won’t let this same type of scenario play out twice. Your honesty about the situation and your recognition of what you could have done to make the situation better is what builds your credibility. Your work is incredible, and your creativity always amazes me, I am sure your design was great, it’s a shame we don’t get to see it 🙁

  3. lorriewalker

    A brave post, to be sure. I’m glad you shared, though. People in lots of industries stand to learn a lot from your lesson. Carry on, my friend!

  4. Fan of your work

    I continue to be impressed and inspired by your work. You have a wonderful way of articulating (in writing) your thoughts and feelings. Some of life’s lessons are hard to learn but how can we grow and improve if we don’t face hardships. You are amazingly creative and I know any client who hires you gets your total commitment to quality and dedication. If you thought the invitations were amazing, I am sure they were. Don’t let someone’s dissatisfaction discourage you, only let it serve to inspire you more. Learn what needs to be learned and forge ahead, head held high, and continue to create and inspire.

  5. Alison Citron

    Thanks for talking about this (and I’m sorry that things went the way they did with your client). This really resonated with me, as I recently finished up an invitation for a client that I was very proud of – only to get an unsolicited email from her after the project detailing all the ways that she thought I failed her. It reeeeallly sucked. I think your lessons learned on totally on point, and I guess that’s the silver lining in all the crap you have to deal with first – you’ll be able to better serve your future clients.

  6. niftysmith

    I’m a little late to the party (or anti-party) that is this post, but I feel the need to comment. I totally know where you’re coming from and how you felt about this project. One of our very first big client projects was wedding stationery for someone I went to college with. It was 3-color (and the RSVP was 2-sided), and we worked so very, very hard on those on our little Pilot. They weren’t perfect, but I actually felt like they fit her style and I was very confident she would love them. We loved them very much, not just because we made them, but because we really thought they looked neat! Not perfect, as a few more solid areas of color were indeed salty and the nature of the paper lent itself to a shallow impression (I can’t smash print all the things), but … still! We mailed that stationery with excitement, not trepidation. It was kind of suspicious that we didn’t get so much as a thank you, but we figured our bride was busy with wedding prep …

    About two weeks after her wedding date, a big familiar box arrived on our doorstep, full of completely unused wedding stationery and a note that broke my heart.

    Needless to say, we didn’t print anything for several months and spent a lot of time being very bummed and feeling sorry for ourselves.

    However, one day, I realized we learned so much during the process that we just weren’t going to repeat those mistakes. Like. Ever. I still feel bad, sometimes, and there isn’t much (if anything) I can do to make up for what happened … except continue to do better for others.

    Printing some self projects definitely helped, but, yeah, I have totally been there, done that.

    • afinepress

      Ooomph. What an experience.

      Onward!

8 Comments

  1. Leslie

    It’s always a total bummer when the design phase goes terribly wrong. You know that you put your heart into the work, and in the end, that’s all that really matters. I find the best way to move on is to design and print something for yourself.

    • afinepress

      I’ve got a project I’m finishing up right now. I’ve had one other project go bad and it put me down and out for nearly half a year. Can’t let that happen again.

  2. concerned

    You made a very valuable discovery through this process, one that we designers of other methods have to learn as well. Nothing can replace the verbal interaction when delivering expectations or restating your interpretation of those expectations. I am so sorry you had to go through this experience, but I know you, and you won’t let this same type of scenario play out twice. Your honesty about the situation and your recognition of what you could have done to make the situation better is what builds your credibility. Your work is incredible, and your creativity always amazes me, I am sure your design was great, it’s a shame we don’t get to see it 🙁

  3. lorriewalker

    A brave post, to be sure. I’m glad you shared, though. People in lots of industries stand to learn a lot from your lesson. Carry on, my friend!

  4. Fan of your work

    I continue to be impressed and inspired by your work. You have a wonderful way of articulating (in writing) your thoughts and feelings. Some of life’s lessons are hard to learn but how can we grow and improve if we don’t face hardships. You are amazingly creative and I know any client who hires you gets your total commitment to quality and dedication. If you thought the invitations were amazing, I am sure they were. Don’t let someone’s dissatisfaction discourage you, only let it serve to inspire you more. Learn what needs to be learned and forge ahead, head held high, and continue to create and inspire.

  5. Alison Citron

    Thanks for talking about this (and I’m sorry that things went the way they did with your client). This really resonated with me, as I recently finished up an invitation for a client that I was very proud of – only to get an unsolicited email from her after the project detailing all the ways that she thought I failed her. It reeeeallly sucked. I think your lessons learned on totally on point, and I guess that’s the silver lining in all the crap you have to deal with first – you’ll be able to better serve your future clients.

  6. niftysmith

    I’m a little late to the party (or anti-party) that is this post, but I feel the need to comment. I totally know where you’re coming from and how you felt about this project. One of our very first big client projects was wedding stationery for someone I went to college with. It was 3-color (and the RSVP was 2-sided), and we worked so very, very hard on those on our little Pilot. They weren’t perfect, but I actually felt like they fit her style and I was very confident she would love them. We loved them very much, not just because we made them, but because we really thought they looked neat! Not perfect, as a few more solid areas of color were indeed salty and the nature of the paper lent itself to a shallow impression (I can’t smash print all the things), but … still! We mailed that stationery with excitement, not trepidation. It was kind of suspicious that we didn’t get so much as a thank you, but we figured our bride was busy with wedding prep …

    About two weeks after her wedding date, a big familiar box arrived on our doorstep, full of completely unused wedding stationery and a note that broke my heart.

    Needless to say, we didn’t print anything for several months and spent a lot of time being very bummed and feeling sorry for ourselves.

    However, one day, I realized we learned so much during the process that we just weren’t going to repeat those mistakes. Like. Ever. I still feel bad, sometimes, and there isn’t much (if anything) I can do to make up for what happened … except continue to do better for others.

    Printing some self projects definitely helped, but, yeah, I have totally been there, done that.

    • afinepress

      Ooomph. What an experience.

      Onward!

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