Eleven years ago today. I was a wreck.

Just a kid, my bride even younger.

I don’t think it really hit me, the weight of this thing we were doing.

But I was still a wreck.

We made promises and smiled, too nervous to even really see the depth in one another’s eyes. It was grand and it was a whirlwind.

And the days since now seem to have come and gone so quickly.

I’m not the best husband you’ve ever known or met. As it stands, I pray that I still have time to make my good days outnumber the ones when I’m so short on Grace and Kindness and all the things my bride deserves.

Last year was our tenth anniversary and an adorable little man was preparing to make himself known to our world. We barely celebrated our tin anniversary – perhaps dinner; I don’t recall that there were gifts. There was still much to prepare for.

Our son is nearly a year old now. And our in every way incredible daughter is creeping up on that second great milestone of age – FIVE.

This year has come hard to us and not because we have two little ones. It’s because we’re flawed – human – and I don’t always remember that grace can be given freely – it doesn’t have to come in limited supply. There’s enough for curious little children and my breathtaking bride.

In many ways, this is an apology for being, at times, insufferable, at others, barely tolerable, and rarely much too thoughtful.

This is not the first time I’ve told my bride how sorry I am and it will not be the last.

But here now, I find it so appropriate that we’re celebrating our steel anniversary. Because though love does not come easy, my resolve to pursue the love of my life is deeper and stronger than ever.

–

We’ve worked hard on making our little house a home; a refuge from the world and a place where we can lean into one another.

We’ve worked hard on this house and there are parts that feel so warm and inviting. Then there’s the rest – the broken kitchen ceiling and walls I never finished painting.

One of the most visible offenders was the lighting in our dining room. Family meals around the table provide such a strong anchor to the day and I wanted to make the table a little more inviting with an anniversary gift.

I crafted this fixture from a piece of the workbench in the new print shop I’m working on. Being wood, it may have been more appropriate for our fifth anniversary, but I’m thrilled to have even more reasons to sit at the table with the love of my life and the children we gave one another and find refuge in each other’s strength.

Thank you, Meghan, for your patience and grace and for loving me even when I’m not all that lovable.